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The Good Book Also Says...: Numerous Humorous Poems Inspired by the New Testament

by Ben Milder

I Timothy 2:11–12
11Let a woman learn in silence with all submissiveness. 12I permit no
woman to teach or to have authority over men; she is to keep silent.

The Silent Sex? Aw, C'mon!

Why is it men don’t understand
That women have been in command
From the time one came from Adam’s rib
Until these days of women’s lib.

Since the Good Book tells us that your wife
Must maintain silence throughout her life
And be submissive to your will,
Paul’s words I’d like to cling to. Still,

My wife now takes a different tack:
On most occasions, she talks back
Without (or sometimes with) permission,
Defying biblical tradition.

She tells me: "You’ll be devastated,
But today those rules are antiquated.
That message, dear, that you adhere to,
I’m not inclined to lend an ear to.

"So if our marriage is to last,
You’d better mend your ways — and fast!
Just go and earn the daily bread,
And I will say what needs be said."

The Good Book may have been correct,
Back then when gals got no respect,
But now you’re apt to come a cropper
If you still think that posture’s proper.

Though Scripture we don’t disavow,
Some are gender-neutral now!

Use the player below to listen to Ben Milder read this poem.



The hearty, wholesome laughs continue in this uplifting sequel to The Good Book Says. . . . Divided into four sections, which parallel the structure of the New Testament, this charming, cleverly illustrated book (described by Milder, in the words of Gilbert and Sullivan, as a source of innocent merriment ) offers the witty and wise light verse his readers have come to love. A sheer delight for all!


I found Ben Milder’s poems on the New Testament amusing, entertaining, and, above all, readable. . . . Here, Ben Milder has taken the most serious of subjects . . . and given it expression in various light-verse forms. The result is hilarious and gives, as well, new insight into these well-known texts.
— John Mella, editor of Light: The Quarterly of Light Verse

Milder’s new collection . . . is as funny and good as his first . . . mighty good indeed.
— X. J. Kennedy, author of Fresh Brats

What a great little book for reading out loud and sharing the twists and turns that make holy words alight with fun!

— Rabbi Robert P. Jacobs, former excecutive vice president of the St. Louis Rabbinical Association

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